This guy...

It seems that lately there’s a lot of encouragement for girls to ask guys out. It was in last month’s Glamour, and one of my issues of ym. Even my friend has been telling me lately that I should ask a guy out too. I mean why wait for them?! But honestly, I don’t think I can. I tried that once, and let’s just say it didn’t work out right. So after that, I’ve lost all thought of asking a guy out. Besides, it’s his job to come get me. Right? I mean I know this is the twenty-hundreds and everything, but, I still feel that I am, in a sense, a prize worth winning, and I think that if some guy wants me bad enough, he’ll take the leap and ask me out. And trust me, the chances of me saying no are slim. Not to say I’m desperate, just that I can find something positive in most guys. And, I’m not that picky in that area. I mean I don’t care about race or stuff like that He can wear glasses. He can have braces. So what if he’s gangly or a bit tubby? What I think is important is on the inside. However, that’s not the point. The point is that lately, I’ve come very close to asking this guy out. But I don’t know if he wants anything more than a platonic relationship. I mean I am the type of person who takes risks, but within boundaries. This guy I’ve been pondering, he’s tall and skinny, and he has braces. He has black hair and a red face. he’s athletic, terribly funny, smart, silly, and kind. And he has these quirky faces and this weird way he chews his gum. But I like him a lot. I mean, I’ve only known him for a month and a half, but I’ve been interested for about three weeks. But I can’t ask him out, as much as I wanna. It’s like my heart says , “Do it! Do it!”, my head keeps saying, “remember what happened last time?” and I cant muster up the strength. Because of this internal debate, or war more like, I can’t think properly, and I’m beginning to get headaches and I can’t focus in class, and I cant sleep at night and I keep thinking…